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Hat Simulator 2! Come join us!
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Team fortress was originally a quake mod which was quickly picked up by valve, ported to the gold source engine, and released as Team Fortress Classic. After it's long standing success, and after several development phases, a sequel was born, Team Fortress 2.

You play as one of 9 classes to complete a variety of objectives, be it good old capture the flag, control points, team deathmatch or some new gamemodes like payload (where one team pushes a cart of explosives to the enemy base and the opposing team has to prevent them from pushing it into their base and kersploding them), mann-power (Capture the flag, with a bunch of various powerups and boosts, as well as grappling hooks), asteroid (Where each team tries to destroy the enemy teams robots to steal their power, and try to steal their power back from the enemy's reactor core), special delivery (Both teams compete to take a briefcase of australium to a rocket to get a monkey to space), or go on custom servers to play deathruns, play mariokart, prison, all sorts of shit. 

So the classes. Each class has querks, perks, advantages and disadvantages. There are doens of custom weapons for each class, but for the sake of simplicity, i'll cover their default loadouts, except for where the default loadouts aren't so much the default (The pyros flare gun or a demoknight).

The fastest moving class, which can also double jump. Primary is a 6 shot scattergun, secondary is a pistol, melee is a bat. Scout's are one of the most powerful classes, and have double capture rates for payloads and control points. The scout is a damage dealing class who's main objective is to take out other powerful classes endangering their team and capture objectives.

Arguably the most maneuverable class. The Soldier is a DPS class, equipped with a rocket launcher as a primary, shotgun as a secondary and a shovel as a melee (presumable to dig your grave after turning you into swiss cheese). THe soldier is slow moving, but why is he the most maneuverable class you say? Rocket jumping. My god, rocket jumping. The jumps i see people do sometimes are ridiculous. A good rocket jumper can get from one side of any map to the other in a single 4 shot clip. It's scary. 

"For players who don't like to aim". For the beginners, this is true. With the primary being a flamethrower, most new peoples instinct is to "W+M1" (Run forward and shoot flames) into a croud of people and spin wildly. 70% of pyros you meet will be doing this, and those aren't the ones you have to look out for. A pyro's flamethrower has a secondary function, being able to shoot a blast of compressed air which will reflect anything that is not a bullet. A good pyro can send a soldiers rocket back into his face, a demoman, pipes and sticked onto his own feet etc. It can also be used to push an enemy away from you, in most cases off a damn cliff. Although the pyro's secondary is by default, a shotgun, most people will default to a flare gun of choice, a medium-long range projectile capable of light people on fire. The melee is a fire axe. Suiting.

There are usually two forms of the demoman you will meet. The traditional one is equipped with a grenade launcher as primary, a sticky bomb launcher (The stickies can be used to lay traps and detonated at any time) as a secondary, and a trusty bottle of scrumpy as a melee. This form of demo, in competative matches, is the highest damage dealer, but takes a lot to master successfully. The second kind you are likely to meet is the dreaded demoknight. Armed with a grenade launcher as primary, but a shield and sword as the other two weapons. These bastards will charge at you with their shield, and if they don;t kill you on impact, will stikr you down with whatever sword/gold club they happen to be carrying. Nightmare fuel. The demo can also sticky/pipe/caber jump similar to the soldier, thoigh it is far harder to master. 

For those not completely ignorant of TF2, the heavy is the person you probably associate with the game the most. He is on the cover of most promotional propaganda. While he is advertised as a brutish Russian marksman carrying a frickin' minigun by his side, the heavy has an alter-ego, the delightful hoovy. By default the heavy carries a minigun, a shotgun, and his own two fists. Dangerous in combat and usually accompanied by a medic, the heavy is practically a mobile sentry. With the slowest speed but highest health, the heavy is one to watch. Most heavies however, in place of the shotgun, will be seen carrying a sandvich. The heavy can pull this out anytime in combat, and use it to restore ALL his 300 health. Crazy.

The definition of a support class. The engineer uses his trusty wrench to build machines to aid his fellow teams. Sentries, which can be upgraded a total of three times, from a single round of bullets to double miniguns and quad rockets. Dispensers, which dispense metal for buildings, and ammo+healing to himself and teammates. Also, teleporters. Entrance and exit. Good for getting your team from spawn straight into the action. The default engie is equipped with his shotgun, pistol, wrench and construction PDA.

The medic. Everyone loves him. Nobody wants to play him.
The medic is usually the main source of healing for his teammates on the battleground. Equipped with a syringe gun as a primary and a bonesaw as a melee, the medic can protect himself against an unwary foe, but his secondary is what people love him for. A medigun, which literally shoots a beam of healing into his teammates, which heals them faster than wolverine heals his own wounds, and can be used to give a teammate an additional 50% of their health as an overheal. Did i mention he can also make himself and whoever he is healing completely invincible for a while, upon charging an Ubercharge? yeah, crazy.

An FPS isn't an FPS without a sniper class. This one speaks for itseld, almost. The default loadout is a sniper rifle, SMG and kukri knife. His trademark attack however, is using a jar of his own piss to weaken enemies and make them more vulnerable to damage. 

A powerhouse, if mastered. The spy is a devilish rouge, equipped with a revolver, a cloaking device of choice, a knife and a disguise kit. The spy can become invisible, fake his own death (With the right cloaking device), disguise as his own team or one of the enemy team, perform instant kills with a backstab, and (Again, with the right revolver), even perform headshots like a sniper. If a spy wants you dead, you're going to die. The spy is the reason you need to watch your back in this game. Seriously. Turn around. 

I missed a lot, and didn't cover a HUGE portion of what this game is all about, if only because it would take me forever. But here;s some points to hopefully gain your interest if none of the above did:
  • The scout has a radioactive drink which makes him invulnerable for a time, and a sugar loaded one that gives him extra damage an unlimited jumping abilities. Also makes his weapons glow pink. 
  • Soldier has a shovel which, if he rocket jumps then hits you, will deal you 195 damage, instakilling all but two classes. He also has a whip which speeds up your team if you hit them with it. Not to mention several banners he can wear to bolster his surrounding team's stats for a while.
  • Pyro has melee's which almost instakill you if your wet, one which makes him run fast and steal all your health upon killing you, one that sents you on fire, and one that does triple damage if he hits you whilst you're on fire. 
  • The soldier and demo have parachutes to make their jumping longer or more streamlined. 
  • Demo has a melee (caber) which, upon hitting an enemy or surface, will explode. yes, it explodes you too. 
  • Heavy has a pair of christmas mittens he can wear on his fists. If he hits you from behind, you begin laughing, unable to move or attack. He can then, as a taunt, shoot you with his finger. Which actually instakills you. No joke. 
  • Pyro has a pair of goggles, and various items, which sends you to pyro land, turning the games explosions into confetti, flames into rainbows and some maps go all pink and bubbly. 
  • Engie can take remote controll of his sentry with a remote. This can be used to rocket jump just like a soldier, or focus on whatever target you want, and also to bypass the sentry's normal range. 
  • Engi also has a secondary which will disintergrate any projectiles, much like the pyro can reflect them
  • Battle medics, medics which focus solely on combat, are fucking scary. Often you will see two medics taking in turns, one healing the other, whilst that other berserks enemies. When equipped with a syringe gun which heals as they deal damage, and an ubersaw which adds 25% charge on their ubercharge on hit, they can be a downright pain to kill. 
  • Sniper can use a bow an arrow. This sounds silly, but by god is it overpowered. Like damn. You can aslo use it to pins enemies against walls, ceilings, whaveter takes your fancy.
  • Spycrab. Google it. Just do it.

I can't begin to cover the rest, but ask questions and i will answer them, and probably put them in the post as i need. I also didn't really feel like proofreading. Sue me. 

To be fair. Anyone who hasn't already played TF2 is a heretic and should probably be burned.
*Puts on Pyro mask* My time has come...

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When we playing I am down to play with someone i have 600+ hours on tf2 Tongue


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